Today was a super bad day. From in the morning when my rubber band broke, I should have known it was a bad omen. Not that I'm superstitious but taking Literature makes you more sensitive to metaphors and signs. In my case, my first job experience would be a mix of a thriller, horror, gore and especially tragedy.
Thriller for the heart-pounding pressure we feel during work everyday, the need to close a deal before lunch time. Horror for the constant fear that we missed out any information or said something ambiguous that the customers may challenge us with or even challenge us to court. Simply anything can land us in a legal case. Gore for the feeling I have of work everyday, that disgust and dread, the palms-over-eyes everytime a new contact list comes then Horror once more when it's a foreigner's list. Tragedy encompasses all the "If only"s, "I should have", "Why is it like this" and especially "I cannot take it anymore but I must go on".
I don't know why I must hang on so tightly for this job. I said I would respect the job and I really tried but I lost all due respect in a day. Like seriously. If I'm to be treated like that, even if I get paid $10 per hour it's freaking pittance to me. Pride more impt and principles most. Yupp.
Today is a winding road, that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go~
Was at a loss today after work. On the sign out book was penned an indirect humiliation and injust towards me. At the moment I only had one thought. Leave the place first. Even though Kangaroo asked me to confront Supervisor but I was so weak and afraid and affected that I only wanted to run away. Shiat. I really really hate this side of myself.
Contacted a few of my closest friends and oh my tian, Tay DK super xie xie ni oh! While I sat by the road and cried, I was talking to you neh! Malu cos of crying by the road but at least I busied myself with tlking on the phone :) Cried for like over an hour(?!) Then on the bendy bus super a lot of people stared at me. Gosh, must have been very obvious that I cried.
Then from opposite AMK Library I walked home along the main road cos the park isn't brightly lit and it was close to 9pm already. Met this two boys in skinny jeans who got nothing better to do in life. They're gangsters I think. Tattooes and cigarettes? Sashay down the pavement in their classic Ah Beng style then try to disturb me. Wts. Cry so what mans~ So I stared at them then they did their "Wah I so scared" as expected but I just walked on lo. Are you awed by the audacious Evelyn Chen? :)
Went home and Jie was on the sofa watching tv. She took leave since she lost her voice. Took a long warm bath to soothe my tensed nerves. Then answered Pig's call. Wahh she super ji dong on the phone and her voice is super high-pitched mans. She's auto loudspeaker even if you're on handset mode. Nice description :) Discussed about tomorrow's Konfrontasi.
Am so touched by all my friends' support. Plus my family. Wahh unity in a long while O.O Rare case. Gor Gor sent me an email for some temporary staff application. Dasao asked me how work was and listened although Elise is hospitlaised but she still spared some time for me. Daddy penned a resignation letter for me to type out. Mummy says I can always find another job, what matters is that I like the job and am happy. Jie Jie is the best, normally she doesn't talk much to me then Mummy will relay news to her but today she asked why I cried then when I teared, gave me the whole tissue packet to use. Plus she asked her friend to get us milkshakes and tarts. Important thing is, she requested for my share wor! And she told me a secret :) Nobaddy else knows :) Makes me feel closer to her ^^
WHERE ARE THOSE HAPPY DAYS,
THEY SEEM SO FAR AWAY.
Tomorrow is drama day. Gotta confront Supervisor. And will not be swayed into working further at the company. Even though I've grown to like my fellow colleagues. Those bimboes may be bimbotic at first but they'll warm up to you after some time. Just when I'm starting to blend in with everyone, I gotta detach myself from them. Today I was moved to Room 3. Room 3 is really happening. Super funny. I like the colleagues but not the work itself.
