make moments last

Thursday, June 25, 2009 / 3:54 AM

Had a nice chat over msn with Zanne today. Oh maaan. These days nobody talks to me on msn anymore, so sad right. Did a lot of catching up and I spilled my secrets out to this girl. Haiyoo. Made an evaluation and decided I feel very retarded over the issue. But what to do, I am still struggling to get over it. Can you believe it.

I don't know how it began but I know I was quite reluctant to end it. I typed each word on my phone with a heavy heart, trying to explain this outcome. Then I retreated. I needed time to think. When our last argument broke, it wasn't a heated one, it was simply a game of ignorance, making it clear that you were avoiding me. Even until today I still feel wronged, you were unreasonable and too much swayed by the people around you. Maybe one day when I have enough courage to face you again, I'll share with you a tale of how someone was eventually moved by your sweet actions and gradually made so comfortable in your presence that trust was put in you. Just that this trust was breached and never again reciprocated.

I started saying I need to forget this but somehow half a year gone by and I still can't so might as well I face it instead of trying to avoid the problem.

Well you're the closest thing I have,
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didn't last
But I could never call you mine,
Cause I could never call myself yours.
And if we were really meant to be,
Well then we've just defied destiny,
It's not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I can't let go,
No I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt okay about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldn't understand
Why it bothered me so.
No we didn't die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I can't let go,
No I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
But somehow still you affect the things I do
And you can't lose what you never had
I don't understand why I feel sad
Everytime I see you out with someone new

I can't let go, no I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

I can't let go, no I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go, I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me
Holding me

And still I can't comprehend, why it bothered me so.
Getting worked up over trivial matters and being so sensitive.
Without deliberation, you've transformed me into someone I wasn't.
The opposite of Love is not Hate, it is

Indifference.

-----------------♥Blogged with love♥----------------

Sunday, June 21, 2009 / 4:47 AM

The Story of the Butterfly

One day, a small opening opened on a cocoon; a man sat and watched for the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to free its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gone as far as it could and it could not go any further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly; he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a withered body. It was tiny and had shrivelled wings.

The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly's body, and become firm. Neither happened; in fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggling required for the butterfly to emerge through the tiny opening was God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved in freeing itself from the cocoon.

Similarly, I guess struggles we face in life are there for a reason too. Let us keep working hard at it, and one day, may we emerge like a healthy and beautiful butterfly! No one said life was always going to be easy and smooth-sailing, but the struggles we go through have meaning too, and are there to help us grow. Life is beautiful, treasure life! Even the tough times where it is just so easy to grow weary.

Justin sent an email in an attempt to find donors for B blood; a 5 year old Singaporean boy Berney needs a transfusion fast and the blood bank is empty of the rare B blood. At least 10 donors are needed and even with 10, their blood need to be screened to be healthy to enable transfusion. Attached to the email is this story which I found to be relevant to me. Oh man, the sudden urge to read Justin's email sent months ago in April and also this story at this ungodly hour must be some kind of God's message for me to choose to struggle with my revision cos now I lack the motivation to study and I'm weary of it all.

Maybe Justin's been praying that I'll remember his birthday and his prayer was answered. Yes, July 2nd. I will remember to sms you, old friend. Oh myy, I miss smsing you and receiving your smses at 4am when your biological clock wakes you up. And those times when you used your super pro (to the swakoo me at that time) laptop with the magic pen to write on the screen, those Chemistry balancing of equations which I super sucked in. Don't be too AA in school though, heard comments about you through my friends (: Study hard for MYEs, I still have high hopes in you and hope you achieve your dream, though it seems impossible cos it's such a noble aspiration but there's always hope :)

Let's be butterflies.

Emerging out of the turmoil with enriched souls and beautiful dreams.

(Anti-climax: Butterflies but not the Liang Shan Bo and Zhu Ying Tai ones please.)

-----------------♥Blogged with love♥----------------

Saturday, June 20, 2009 / 8:22 PM

Yupp, I guess this is your wish for her.

So sorry I haven't been understanding enough to hear you out today and even threw a tantrum. But at that point in time, your words were super hurtful and I couldn't just sit there and cry. Then when I thought it through, I felt since you were having a really rough time I really should have been more thoughtful to be there to hear you out. Hope you'll feel better in time. Meet up soon, even though I left the band :) And no band meetings please, too overwhelming for me to handle. If there's anything, I'm always contactable :) Even though we aren't exactly very close, Crackhead loves you! Cheerup k :)

-----------------♥Blogged with love♥----------------

Friday, June 19, 2009 / 10:56 PM

Only Hope :)

This song has been trapped in my mind since eons ago and I started singing and singing it 2 days ago. Hopefully I won't rewrite the lyrics onto my History test script next friday. Dang. Haven't finished revision. Mugging is my only hope. Shiats.

Went out with Hamsters and Horse for Sakae buffet today. Oh my goodness damn full please. My tummy's elasticity reached its max, any more, it'll explode. I won Fabian in a competition of who can eat more chawanmushi in the fastest time Hahaa. So pathetic, we set our goal at 5 bowls but only managed to squeeze 3. Jarad Wong and Ben were funny too, Jarad wanted to order "Tiramisu" which was actually chawanmushi and Ben wanted to order "Pasta" which was Sou Ba (?)The green cold noodles laa.

Becca had a funny shirt "Such is life" and since her bag covered the "h" of "Such", at first glance I thought it was "Suck". After figuring out the word to be "Such", she covered her front and said "Okay, enough already, don't stare leh." Hahahaa. Junyi and Fabian thought the word was "Suck" also mans.

As usual, camwhoring involved via Junyi's phone :) Took a pic of us both to make Christine jealous :) J2 APW outing hahahaa! The other time Christine crashed emo fam outing and took a pic with me, now Junyi took one with me. What can I say, I'M ENJOYING IT :D Lol. I can already predict the secret outings Christine and Junyi will plan to make poor Emo jealous. Sigh sigh. Let's all go Safra and play one day! :) It's amazing how much I miss going to Safra when I dreaded going there for trainings. Probably due to all the Sweetalk and makan sessions more than the trainings laa. :D

By the way, my phone has been returned to me, ALLELUIA. Thanks Jer for travelling all the way from Sengkang to return to me. :) And yes, I owe you 2 meals but I'm broke beyond beggar standard. I'm in CRISIS. :'( Welcome to the life of Emo Pauper. The word "Crisis" reminded me once again that I have yet to start revision on Global Economy and all the Crisis Decades thingy. HAIYO. Quoting from Becca, "Life Sucks. Take Drugs." Kids don't learn from her, bad influence k~

-----------------♥Blogged with love♥----------------

Monday, June 15, 2009 / 11:22 PM

13 June 2009

CELEBRITY WEEKEND

Did something for the first time today (:

I VISITED A CHRISTIAN CHURCH. (At last)

Amazingly, I was super punctual, reaching Ang Mo Kio MRT at 2pm :O
Since Gabriel was late, he told me to take mrt to Yio Chu Kang and he'll meet me on the platform there. Tsk Tsk. He came backwards to pick me then past his home mrt station to get to Jurong East. He's being thoughtful but still, I could have met him at Sembawang instead wad, save his time too. Cos the train ride was all the way until Jurong East, and it takes fastest 33 mins to get there from AMK.

From Jurong East onwards, everything was an eye-opener for me (okayy I know there's a limit to my eyes opening~). There was a Chinese Garden station and the Jurong East Swimming Complex had a very TALL adventurous slide! Gabriel said one day get us all to go but er I think Daryl and I need to exercise first yoz. :S

Transferred train, reached Pioneer then took bus to reach City Harvest Church. Was quite nervous, thinking I would meet my FRIEND. Heard from Gabe that the church population was 27,000 (wth!) so highly unlikely I'd meet him :)

HOLD THY BREATH.

THIS IS NOT MEDIACORP'S STUDIO.
THIS IS
*drum rolls*

CITY HARVEST CHURCH'S AUDITORIUM.
-MEGAAA JAAAW DROP-

Their main pastor in the centre, a charismatic guy called Kong Hee

A band named Mollucos, something like that.
I thought they were Americans, Rihanna style but Gabriel said they were from INDONESIA.
The way they sang the songs was ASTONISHINGLY nice and had the American accent but their flawed fractured English exposed their true nationality laa.

He's the only high one in his cell group.

Oh yaa I learnt that cell group doesn't only go by age, like in Yuheng's church. For Gabriel's you follow the cell group your friend brought you in. And his cell group has overwhelmingly TONS of guys. I was introduced to Chin Poh who was isolated from the rest cos he sat beside me (sorrie~) and I SERIOUSLY thought his name was Cheapo. Omg so malu okay, I wanted to act friendly and strike up a conversation so I asked him why the rest called him Cheapo. No wonder he stunned. Oh no I can't rmb the names of the people I met. Shiat.

Gabriel said most of his cell group members used to be gangsters converted back to Christians so when he brought me to meet them I daaamn scared luh. I remember one Jonathan who didnt look like Didi at all and he had a girlfriend named Eve so Gabe said Jonathan will definitely rmb my name. Then there was this property agent guy who kept introducing Gabriel's good qualities to me until Gabriel said "No laa, she got boyfriend already." Waseh I didn't get it at all please. Tsk. The guy eventually clarified he wasn't trying to pair us.

Ohh! And I made friends with one of the three girls in the cell group. She's totally awesome mans, she can suvive in those MASCULINE climate. Wasehh.

Back to the performances..

We had JAY CHOU

'S GOOD FRIEND, LIU GENG HONG.

Look right,

Look left~

Look front and whooo! MAGIC~
His wife came too!
And I didn't know he was married to HER.

She acted in Jay Chou's Fa Ru Xue and Geng Hong's Rainbow MVs wor.
Wahh Geng Hong lei, Act friendly hahahaa.

Surprisingly, we saw an OCEAN in the auditorium...

OU DE YANG.
Lol, Gabriel and I got exchanged the "Erm.." look then Gabe suggest they put the cartoon version of him on the screen instead of him on live. Totally agreed. LOL. Quite mean to him. :/

Then next up, we saw FIR~
Wasehh long time no see them mans.
They sang Fly Away and oh my goodness, I sang along too. Quite loudly :X

Emo living in the fantasy that she's opening her concert too WHOOO!~

The guy in the screen was from their MV in case you're finding where he is on stage. Hahaa.

They sang another song and the song title sounded very cheena so we thought we wouldn't know the song but in the end we could sing the chorus o.O

Gabriel said that the two on the left are married.

OHH MYY HOOK.
I felt so swakoo that I didn't know about it lehh
(Still self-declared know a lot about Korean, Jap and Taiwanese showbizes)

Ah Shin's hair makes him look like a dying old man. OOPS.

There was this damn ZAI break dance group!
If I didn't spend all my memory space capturing FIR's cheena song I would have captured their dance perfomance for you all to watch, totally SPECTACULAR.

"I ain't no pot belly."

One arm push up!

OH NOOO.

COOL.

Then we had MILK.
As in not the drinking milk, as in MILK~

Get it?
He's called Niu Nai = Milk in English~

Wahh UNGLAM! Hahahaa!
I felt so proud of myself after taking this shot!

We had F4!

Okayy so sorry girls, your hopes have to fall drastically cos I'm not referring to the Korean hot like steamboat F4 but the frozen, sublimed into air, disbanded former F4 band from Taiwan.

1/4 of them, VANESS WU.

*ALAMAK*
headache siaa.

"Tell me whyy~ My F4 lost popularity~~"
T^T

"Aaaaaahhhhh!!... Noooooo~"

Sigh.

This is my desire
"To be popular like Korean F4..."

RED ALERT!
BORING REFLECTION AHEAD!
(you may choose to skip the blue part)

Learnt a lot of things in one afternoon. Made a conclusion that Catholic masses are more traditional and solemn while Christian services although longer, are more modernised with upbeat worship songs in pop style. I loved the testimonials, they really moved me. Just that I still cannot quite accept they have something called ties (I think it's spelled this way) whereby 10% of your salary or pocket money goes to the church. For my Catholic church, it's voluntary, out of individual goodwill. No wonder Catholic churches are relatively poorer and constantly in need of funds especially for church building funds. Wahh City Harvest is like some.. designer's building luh. *eyes bulge* Smells new and it's super big too. By the way, the auditorium is I think 5 storeys UNDERGROUND??

And another thing that kept me in doubt is that when the crowd prayed over Jacelyn Tay, almost everyone prayed for her in tongues, even a young boy was blabbering away but from my church's upbringing, tongues is a gift from God that enables you to converse in foreign languages, usually ancient languages like Hebrew etc and this gift would be bestowed upon you when you're religiously ready. But I observed the boy and I feel he's blabbering nonsense just to fit in with the rest. Then there were others whose tongues had no pattern so I was sure they havent received the Gift yet. The influence of this church was so strong that I had the urge to blabber too but I prayed to God - that although I came with an open heart to learn more about Christians and embrace the differences between Catholics and Christians, allow me and guide me to maintain a rational mind to distinguish between what is true and what is false.

Then there was the controversy over priests and pastors. Although letting religious leaders marry would be more humane to these leaders but to me, the priests who have chosen to dedicate their lives wholly to God, to maintain chastity and purity of body, mind and soul are of higher nobility. These Catholic priests have given up everything in service of their vocation except their parents (to exercise filial piety) while the Christian pastors live their lives like any of us commoners, just incorporating more faith into it and not giving it up entirely. Dress code was different too. In City Harvest, everyone seemed to dress themselves up with designer brands like Gabriel's friend who is a mega Zara fan from head to toe but they seem to over-monetize everything. In catholic churches, as long as you dress decently and in respect for God, it doesn't matter what how expensive your clothes are, anyway God sees inside within you and you go to church for God, to communicate with him. Yupp that's the word. For Catholics, we focus on communicating with God while Christians focus more on influencing the community through testimonials and sharing experiences which I admit I like, cos it's very impactful.

Nonetheless, Pastor Kong's preachings were good. He talked about humanity which is our conscience and this differentiates us from animals. Then he said it revolves around our SOUL. S is for spirituality where he linked to testimonials "With God, nothing is impossible", I forgot what O and U are but L is for Love. He said that the reason why these celebrities (link to theme: Celebrity Weekend) keep singing love songs and love songs and love songs is because love never dies, Love can withstand the test of time. Centuries later, people would still love each other, it's something that would remain forever. Then he linked to how God sacrificed his only Son for our sins. All I can say is he's a very charismatic speaker.

Thanks Gabriel for bringing me to experience a Christian service, had a lot of fun waiting for the fireworks but didn't manage to capture it everytime. It's super like a concert luh! And thanks for ice cream, eating ice cream in cold weather was weird but quite nice.

Went home by myself cos Gabe had to join his cell group for fellowship near Singapore Flyer and I could successfully take the bus to Pioneer, walk to the gantry without being lost, smsed Mama and Dabian for a little help to take the train from Jurong East then I was independent on my journey back :) Being independent makes me feel kind of grown up :) but it's too lonely and boring to bear. :(

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Rose from APW Captain Christine from yesterday's club dinner!

Kind of squashed since it was crushed in my bag all the from Dover to Ang Mo Kio.

Update for Club Dinner would come very much later after I kope all the pics.
And I doubt I'll add a lot of pics, this month is no photo-taking month cos of my screwed fringe :(

-----------------♥Blogged with love♥----------------

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 / 11:11 PM

WELCOME TO EMO'S 100TH POST!

4th JUNE 2009

And ah ne zun it's EMO FAM OUTING PART.. 4 I think? Cos part 4 was Dabian's birthday last year but only the girls turned up so I don't know how to count this. Haiyo..

Went to watch Night In The Museum 2 and since I fled from school to The Cathay with Dabian in our school uniform, I actually changed out of my half uniform into my outing shirt and skirt :)

YES I CHANGED IN THE CINEMA. :O
The movie was super funny and my favourite characters were the red balloon pouncing doggie, the 3 Cupids who actually were the replicas of Jonas Brothers, the Pharoah with the short tongue and the security guard called BRANdon LOL. Of course I loved the main lead laa~

__________________________________________________________________

Take a look at our original family portrait first, later I'd introduce you to someone who crashed, well not crashed, she actually came to meet her future family laa. Yupp. Must let our mama approve of her first!

MY OHANA! <3
Don't know what Ohana means? LOUSYY~
Go watch Lilo & Stitch!

Our mysterious family-member-to-be..
*drum rolls*
It's CHRISTINE!

And she says she has a family too, which is Hutt Shun as her Gor Gor. Naaa, Emo Fam not jealous please, Teo Hutt Shun and Teo Christine are siblings but they got no parent!
WE HAAAVE~ ^^

Air Pistol Women!
This is meant to make Junyi and Joleen jealous, Heh Heh.

Thank you tremendously for helping me cover my bad hair day.
Actually it's not bad hair day, it's screwed fringe month. :'(

Then the Rifle people got jealous of us..
Heyy that's the rest of my family! Walao!

Heaven has eyes, their picture was blurred Hahahaa.
I realised we said we'll re-take for them but didnt. OOPS.

People sitting on the other side~
Act cute, take what row picture lei. Tsk tsk.

Why my row no have!

Eeeh! Mama trying to act like a kid!
Act like us.. tsk tsk.
Smile at my handphone for what! Retarded LOL

Never mind, it gets worse down the row.

Why the startled look!
No scandalous messages on my phone laa.

Is she on the phone?!
OMG could it be.. could it be.. WWII?!

HOR JUON, who scandalous now!
smile until like that!

Alright now, watch out for the dazzling beauty who will mesmerise you with a swing of her head!
Ready?
Get set?
SCROLL!

*Tadaaa!*
Were you swaaayed by her?? :D

Our family's own guitarists!

LOL Mama's got the dreamy look!
HOR must be thinking of.. :X :X :X

Fill in the letters for each :X, please :)

Juon died and rose to Heaven to become an angel.
We're so glad she came back to visit us with her halo on her head.
Look how thrilled Dabian is!

Oh noo, there's an angsty child at the corner.. Oh oh. BETTER RUN.
JUON! BE OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL OR HURRY FLY AWAY!

Didi's smile reminds me of Simpsons.
Yet it reminded me of Yuan Yuan. LOL
For your information, Yuan Yuan = Chunyong!

DIDI! YOUR EYES ARE HUGE HERE!

APW! DON'T JEALOUS. :D

GROUP PHOTO!
I mean, FAMILY PORTRAIT IN THE NEAR FUTURE!
We're just practising for now :)

Asked someone to help us take photo and the person slow mo-ed the whole process until I couldn't smile properly, my facial muscles kept twitching ):

Dang. I look like a tortoise! :(

SINGAPORE IDOL WANNABES!
Who will be your next Singapore Idol?

Vote now and stand to win attractive prizes!
So you must vote first then stand up.
If not how to win the prizes??

Juon looks like our mama!
She spread her "wings" like an eagle, no wait, I mean guardian angel :)

We look kind of in Heaven.
JUON! WHY YOU BRING US TO HEAVEN!

Dazzlingly bright, I tell you. That's all I remembered of Heaven.

This is the only pic where my fringe doesn't look thaaat short so I shall end off with this!

YAYY! Next time whoever's birthday we can use this photo alrd!
We always use the same pic we took in Fish&Co~

No wait, if we are adding our new member then need to change pic lehh.

Mama alrd approved of the girl Didi brought home for her, er him, to see so I guess the wedding, or at least engagement should be relatively soon!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES :)
We'll keep you posted on any wedding bells a-ringing!

Lastly, thank you terima kasih RPB for waiting for me at AMK Hub for 40 minutes.
Paiseh laa~ Hope you liked the Andersen ice cream I treated you to.
Burned a hole in my wallet ):

Alrighty Ho, See you next time, on EMO FAM CHANNEL.
Love, EMO. :)

-----------------♥Blogged with love♥----------------