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EVELYN AMADEA
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For the tears & the heart & the way to go on.


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let bygones be bygones ;♥

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January 2010
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March 2010
May 2010



Sunday, May 23, 2010 / 10:08 PM
I just wanted to go on a trip. Probably the last one with her.


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Wednesday, March 3, 2010 / 2:09 AM


Watched the last episode of Autumn's Concerto, GOSH NICEEE. Mishio, mishio~ And also the last episode of K.O.3anguo ^^ Sigh. Tomorrow have to report for work and Friday is Doomsday, results coming out. Alleluia. Hopefully will not have to retake but chances are.. :S

Currently watching Queen Seon Deok but it gets confusing if you miss an episode, their plot's fast and closely packed so it isn't draggy like most drama serials. Today while waiting for the train home, saw Agneta and she said it's a tragedy. Oh man. After Hong Gil Dong, my heart cannot take another tragedy. On top of A level results somemore. GOD, SAVEE MEEE~

Met DK and Mel for 3 consecutive days, Friday for classes, Saturday for NATAS Fair and Sunday with Zanne for Body World Exhibition. THEY REALLY USE REAL HUMAN BODIES. Oh craaap. *covers eyes* -peep-

Anyway I should go back to sleep soon, need to chiong the Leaning Tower of Papers stacking up on my office desk. Tskk. Here's some pictures of Elise, pre-CNY and post-CNY :) CNY meaning Eve of CNY to the 2nd day. CNY pictures will be posted in the next entry, it's A LOT.

















































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Wednesday, February 10, 2010 / 8:51 AM
Buddy Buddies saved me from further decomposing yesterday :) Went out with them at night. Like whoohoo. Rarely can go out at night since young and especially now that my neighbourhood's super unsafe. My void deck is a hot spot for Chinese and Indian gangstas plus now there's the lift upgrading works ongoing. Oh yaa I heard from Mummy that some students from yckss were rowdy then one boy's eye was injured and bleeding. OH EM GEE. Anyway special thanks to my parents who let me out and didn't call me (or forgot to call me) even after midnight ^^ and Porcky for walking me home. Shey shey you barry machi :)



The song that was very outstanding in the 3rd part of the movie. I forgot Endo Kenji sang this in the first movie. Watched the first movie like.. 2 years ago. Cant find any version with full translation yet :S

Reached home like close to 1am. Cos the movie started at 9pm and lasted for 2 hrs 40 mins. Gosh. Lucky my last bus is 1am. Spent the night watching 3 eps of Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge. KAME & TEGOSHI! When the 4 boys in the drama were introduced, kind of had the feeling of F4. Especially one with the brewing tea skills and family background. Another who flirts.



Oh nooo. I facebooked for a while and surprisingly saw Mama :O Quit his job alrd after earning $1300. Walao. Anyway went to view other people's pages. Gosh, much as I wouldn't like to admit but I kind of miss (*drum rolls* new name!) FABEN! Took a look at Ben's "glasgow" album and Europe's more western-y than Australia. So now I got this sudden feeling and excitement over the thought of going to a Western country with Hamsters. A wild and random and OMG thought. I think we'll play Truth and Dare on the streets and dare the loser to peck a foreigner on the cheek or something. WE ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING UP WORSE DARES. And Fabian will attempt his horizontal stunts on every lamp post that he can find or he'll pose each statue that he comes across. There'll be a distinctive madwoman laughter - Becca, and Ben will mimick her :) Then Junyi and I will busy ourselves camwhoring 360 degrees for every step we take. HAHAHAA. What happened to the Macau trip ahh?? And Sentosa. I think Sentosa trip's failure is cos of me. :S or more like.. that horrible job. Urgh I don't want to remember. Thanks.

Now is 11 January 2010 11am :) It's 2 hours past my usual sleeping time of 9am :) But I got to keep awake so that I will be able to prepare and leave the house in time to see the Chinese physician at 2pm. Injured my left knee before I went Australia. 3 months already and my parents havent brought me to cure it. Biased lehh. K I shall learn from Lindo Jong and bite back my tongue. Reunion dinner plans are kind of messed up, Daddy luh, last minute. Tskk. Need to call restaurants too. Haiyo. Hope after CNY my luck will return. Please Please Please, Lady Luck, I need you. Bai Tuo Ni!!


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Monday, February 8, 2010 / 5:41 AM
Hello world! After days of slacking at home, I'm at the stage of decomposing. Hahaa! Eww. Have been spending time watching dramas as expected and TAY DK, I WATCHED 50 EPS OF 3ANGUO! Whoo. Waiting for next week's ep to air.

Oh yaa, I tell you something unbelievable. As you know, I watch most korean dramas and a few japanese ones but recently I watched a Thai drama O.O Cannot believe it right! But the male and female leads married other people last year at around the same time. Wasted~ Wish they could be together.



On Monday, Jie Jie's friend's father told us that they don't want to let Whistle stay with them anymore. For the past month, Daddy and Jie Jie weren't on very good terms since Jie wants to keep Whistle in the office but it's quite unreasonable too, Daddy's office is for commercial purposes, to keep a dog in the office.. the image of the company.. well, the professionalism is reduced I guess. But Daddy compromised and let Whistle roam the 2nd hall. 3 weeks later, Whistle was chased away. At least I had that feeling. Tuesday morning we brought him to stay permanently at the office and Jie's friend's family super mean, they didn't even feed Whistle his breakfast. (They have another dog staying with Whistle)

Yupp so life's a dread again cos Whistle's ultra sensitive now being abandoned.. thrice? So he gets possessive of his bowl and shreds the newspapers to eat. Then he gets super fierce when we go near the fence. Haiyo. Damn scary please. Theory created: If I get bitten, he'll get beaten. Rhymes :) Am thinking of sterilizing him. Maybe he won't be so fierce thereafter. And send him to obedience classes. But Daddy seems frustrated and wants to wash his hands off Whistle. Hopefully he won't think of sending Whistle to SPCA, I think they'll just put him to sleep. Like eternal sleep. And Daddy gave Whistle 2 weeks to stay at the office. After that he must go. So within this 2 weeks we must think of a plan. GAHHH.

Alright. Spent the night packing. Muahaa. Even packed the shoe cabinet. Threw away my Charles & Keith white heels :'( My whole life's first ever pair of heels I bought in P5 to wear for the Christmas Choir. And guess wad? When I was in P5, my shoe size was already.. NINE. Wasehh. Jialat.


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Thursday, January 28, 2010 / 1:53 AM
Listening to Seunggi makes me feel a lot a lot better. For some time now, I forgot the meaning of carefree. Probably it's what we call moving from innocence to experienced.



Mini reflection: I think once I like or love something I'll love it for a very long time.

Left my job after 2 weeks + 5 working days notice :) Thank God. But will be rotting at home. Shall help my dad out but still most of the time decomposing laa. After that awful work experience (okay, to me was rather awful) I started to cherish what I have and have become grateful of the support given to me by others.

I thought deeply about who I am and came up with many negative descriptions of myself. Criticism to make myself reflect then improve to be a better person. Feedback from others: Take things to heart, sensitive, emotional, easily affected. I reflected and acknowledge these problems of mine. Plus I feel I'm too well-protected and sheltered by my family. Am grateful to my family who have not laughed at me for tearing home every day and have sincerely given me advice on my situation. Even though they each have their own problems at work and we have problems working out a good family relation but all of them did all they can to help me. This made me feel very.. touched. :)

My group of classmates aka Hamsters(?) too. I still remember what Fabian said on the night we sent Ben off at the airport. "You can earn this much but what about your happiness?" Like W-O-W. Answer: Negative value. My family too, cares more for my happiness than the money I earn. I like this. I love them. No point staying on and being so bitter everyday. Money is important but it's not everything in my world.

Back to watching my shows but the recent dramas are a little blehh. Just finished watching 3 eps of a Korean variety show One Night Two Days and Episode 52 was touching at the end. Made me think back of the Batam kids, my Aris and Goong Goong and all the little kids who chased after me calling me their Goong Goong Ka. Gosh I really miss them and the kind of carefree days spent together. They have so little on the material aspect but so much in soul.


______________________________________________________________

New Year resolution for a brand new me. Targetting at my weaknesses and analysing feedback and criticisms, best solution is LEARN TO LET GO. Some things like BBQ Pork will expire and decay after some time so must throw away and cannot be too emotional over trivial things. For greater things, Evelyn Chen, you better be more rational hor. Or I HOOT YOU.

Alright, reflection completed. I must put in more effort to be hardworking too, cannot be so lazy every day or I'll rot at a faster rate. Oh myy.


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Sunday, January 17, 2010 / 11:58 PM
Scars (Stronger For Life)

Just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don't want to hear them say
"You're no good at this"

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I'm meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Cut away
All within me
That won't bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger

Scars make us stronger for life



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Wednesday, January 13, 2010 / 10:48 PM
Today was a super bad day. From in the morning when my rubber band broke, I should have known it was a bad omen. Not that I'm superstitious but taking Literature makes you more sensitive to metaphors and signs. In my case, my first job experience would be a mix of a thriller, horror, gore and especially tragedy.

Thriller for the heart-pounding pressure we feel during work everyday, the need to close a deal before lunch time. Horror for the constant fear that we missed out any information or said something ambiguous that the customers may challenge us with or even challenge us to court. Simply anything can land us in a legal case. Gore for the feeling I have of work everyday, that disgust and dread, the palms-over-eyes everytime a new contact list comes then Horror once more when it's a foreigner's list. Tragedy encompasses all the "If only"s, "I should have", "Why is it like this" and especially "I cannot take it anymore but I must go on".

I don't know why I must hang on so tightly for this job. I said I would respect the job and I really tried but I lost all due respect in a day. Like seriously. If I'm to be treated like that, even if I get paid $10 per hour it's freaking pittance to me. Pride more impt and principles most. Yupp.

Today is a winding road, that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go~

Was at a loss today after work. On the sign out book was penned an indirect humiliation and injust towards me. At the moment I only had one thought. Leave the place first. Even though Kangaroo asked me to confront Supervisor but I was so weak and afraid and affected that I only wanted to run away. Shiat. I really really hate this side of myself.

Contacted a few of my closest friends and oh my tian, Tay DK super xie xie ni oh! While I sat by the road and cried, I was talking to you neh! Malu cos of crying by the road but at least I busied myself with tlking on the phone :) Cried for like over an hour(?!) Then on the bendy bus super a lot of people stared at me. Gosh, must have been very obvious that I cried.

Then from opposite AMK Library I walked home along the main road cos the park isn't brightly lit and it was close to 9pm already. Met this two boys in skinny jeans who got nothing better to do in life. They're gangsters I think. Tattooes and cigarettes? Sashay down the pavement in their classic Ah Beng style then try to disturb me. Wts. Cry so what mans~ So I stared at them then they did their "Wah I so scared" as expected but I just walked on lo. Are you awed by the audacious Evelyn Chen? :)

Went home and Jie was on the sofa watching tv. She took leave since she lost her voice. Took a long warm bath to soothe my tensed nerves. Then answered Pig's call. Wahh she super ji dong on the phone and her voice is super high-pitched mans. She's auto loudspeaker even if you're on handset mode. Nice description :) Discussed about tomorrow's Konfrontasi.

Am so touched by all my friends' support. Plus my family. Wahh unity in a long while O.O Rare case. Gor Gor sent me an email for some temporary staff application. Dasao asked me how work was and listened although Elise is hospitlaised but she still spared some time for me. Daddy penned a resignation letter for me to type out. Mummy says I can always find another job, what matters is that I like the job and am happy. Jie Jie is the best, normally she doesn't talk much to me then Mummy will relay news to her but today she asked why I cried then when I teared, gave me the whole tissue packet to use. Plus she asked her friend to get us milkshakes and tarts. Important thing is, she requested for my share wor! And she told me a secret :) Nobaddy else knows :) Makes me feel closer to her ^^






WHERE ARE THOSE HAPPY DAYS,
THEY SEEM SO FAR AWAY.


Tomorrow is drama day. Gotta confront Supervisor. And will not be swayed into working further at the company. Even though I've grown to like my fellow colleagues. Those bimboes may be bimbotic at first but they'll warm up to you after some time. Just when I'm starting to blend in with everyone, I gotta detach myself from them. Today I was moved to Room 3. Room 3 is really happening. Super funny. I like the colleagues but not the work itself.


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